Despite of all the fights we had, we are still together. The wheel of time had forward so fast before i could notice, and now it brought us to the 15th month. All the moments when we kissed and hugged each other, so real like the air i breath in every day, the feelings are just beyond descriptive words.
That night as i stared upon your sleeping face, i shed. Of all the love you richly poured on me, how much have i returned? Things that i hunger from you are getting stronger as i commit myself to this affair. I laughed myself for trying to change you into someone that i desired. It took me long before i realized to change own self is hard, let alone others. I felt guilty over my selfishness and the pain i gave you.
Life is now giving a hard lesson to me, a lesson for understanding myself. It is rather hard to distinguish myself because in the midst of my pondering mind, i had lost my direction. There are several characters inside that constantly transforming from one into another. It comes to my fear that no longer do i know what I want, I'd stuck in the definition of perfection and imperfection. My dreams, should they be given up and be introduced to reality? Or i shall shake off all my doubts in head and just go with the flow as time marches on, to tell myself it's perfect. But, the urge of wanting more and stepping to wondrous land are kept pushing my mind goes astray. I am afraid, afraid that time would ruin everything that had built.
Like any other girls, I like sweet sucking words, cute little texts in the morning, heart throbbing and heart trashing surprises anytime. I crave because i want it from you. No one else, but you.
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