Living In An Emtpy Shell.

I woke up a little sad this morning.

Couldn't remember the dream which was just a second ago before i jarred open my eyes for no reason! But I know that I hadn't wanted it to end.

I tried to figure out what time was it with my sleepy vision, 9.25am?? Ha, no! It was already 5.45pm!! One good thing of my room is there is no distinct boundary between daylight and darkness. But this totally shake up my routine. Miserable yeah? I stay up way too late, messing around, watching some meaningless dramas, sorta killing myself.

Stared down at my left arm, the burn mark is still there. No longer pain, it was not my first time though.

I got my tongue burnt when i excitedly tossed a fresh baked cookie into my mouth, cut my finger when i stared blankly at the vegetables, burnt my hand when i wasn't paying attention to what i was doing, even when i m driving on the road, soulless body simply making turns and breaks. That's right, living a life numbly is what i am doing lately.

Is growing up a process of repeatedly doing the same thing for everyday? How dull.

Until one morning, I aware that others else are doing themselves really busy except myself. I am way too lifeless. After the schooling life, there are two routes waiting ahead. Here i stand, the crossroads of crossroads. As I jaywalk each street in a cycle of idleness, I grow weary of playing the mortal game.

I made some calls, desperate for jobs. At least my target now is money. Isn't better than stare blankly at computer and repeat some dull chores.

Tomorrow i am going for an interview. Sad that my confidence do not last long, like a firefly that keeps blinking! Then my dad scolded me that it is just an interview, people don't hire you doesn't mean that end of the world. Okay, let's take it easy and good luck.

I wanna get out of my shell!!