My funny little ways.

It's been a long while since i chatted with my friends whether in facebook, msn, whatsapp or anywhere else online. Until recently i found myself starting to make the first move to talk to them. Perhaps, I'm born to be playful and casually spam jokes around, sometimes lame ones and sometimes cold ones. But for every stupid things i have ever said, i just wish to cheer them up or perhaps cheer myself up. And i hoped that they wouldn't mind spending a few minutes of theirs to laugh with me.

Speaking of casual chatting, recently some of my friends told me that they miss my cooking. I feel so surprised and warm inside me, when someone actually remember those little little petty things I did for them and when I already threw all of them at the back of my head. Though i know they were merely saying it and didn't really mean it. But I'm still feel glad that my efforts were placed in the rooms of their heart C:

Well, I'm not talented in cooking but i like to cook and bake. I'm not sure why, when I cook I don't really follow how the recipe goes, I just follow my feelings. This is why i always ended up with failed attempts. I failed in my very own ways, and friends used to eat them and give no too bad comments.

It makes me smile when i recall the times when my sushi went too sour with too much of vinegar, my cake was too hard to even feed my dog, my uncooked spaghetti, burnt dishes, Cawanmushi with too much of OX and all my tasteless, too sour, too salty, too oily productions or maybe too disgusted just to take a look at it.

My embarrassment just simply couldn't ease off especially when i watched my friends eat my failed attempts. Although they have been very polite to me and said my cooking were not bad. Consolations i knew, but i take them as compliments. hha!

This also reminded me of times when my friends and I stayed up just to finish our undone baking, messy kitchen and all the clumsy stupid things we did at crazy hours when half of the earth was snoring their ways to dreamland. But lately all my friends are busy with their own works, university life makes everyone a different timetable. I hope one day we can gather and do all the random things together like we used to be! :) Goodnight~ oxox

心理测试题：我喜欢玫瑰!你呢?

下面有4种花，选出你最喜欢的一种，就能测试出你从事哪种职业容易发财？

　　A：木棉

　　B：玫瑰

　　C：郁金香

　　D：香水百合

答案分析：测测你做什么职业容易发财

　　你选择：木棉

　　木棉花是一种很朴素的花，从其高高的树型看，你选择木棉花说明你是一个爽快的人，是不会耍阴谋诡计的人。你交友处世都喜欢直来直去，从不在背后用阴招儿，你不适合从事经营业。如果你具备文学艺术天分的话，写作也是能挣大钱的行当。

　　你选择：玫瑰

　　选择玫瑰花的你，是一位浪漫、任性而无拘无束的人。你追求宽松的生存空间，你一生中把最好的时光都月在吟风诵月的虚幻中。你颇有艺术天分。请注意，你的挣钱机会不是从事体力职业的。

　　你选择：郁金香

　　你是一个感情丰富的人，你对感情十分热衷。但你做事虎头蛇尾，如果一丝不苟地工作的话，你就有发财的希望了。

　　你选择：香水百合

　　你是个生活态度非常严谨的人。你的生活总是有条不紊，你的发式永远不会改变，喜欢洁净，有较高的审美能力。劝你一定要选个好职业，你是个标准的“百万富翁”胚子。

I know I am not hated, but i wish i were loved.

One of these days, I was seeking a way out of the darkest time in my life, but no matter how much i tried and I never gonna make it. It's like an overabundance of pathway choices in a maze, i chose and i choose, every decision i made has often been a little too frivolous. Apparently my life has come up with unplanned outings, trying to be an outgoing person but it has always ended up with all my ridiculous extravagant days. Worst when it comes to the hardest part, that i had to cope with reality when all these temporary contentment are vanished into thin air.

There is saying -being willing to take the first steps in faith could leads to marvelous heights. Ironically, most of my first steps tumble into a bottomless pit. Greatly, i give out love as much as i can to people around me and i wonder how many of them are actually returned? Sometimes i just secretly wish that random people i meet, they will like me and stay with me and being a long-term-friend. I'm frustrated enough for some of them that can never stop judging. Maybe because I'm not looking interesting enough and soon people forget my present. Some are always telling me to be confident, but i was often dumbfounded by the apparent gap between what is said, what was meant and what was unsaid. Though I aware these ironies in man communication, but i still make the mistake of interpreting things too literally.

For times, i feel like i'm living in my ordinary life all alone, I shed beneath my smiling mask in the dark and truly wish for a lost track of time, so that i would stop counting down on my dull days before i ever busied and indulged myself with all the extravagances again until i finally broke.

What's in my mind

Routine

Homemade breakfast of the day :)

The flow of my life has just entering into a turning point somehow. Well maybe it's because i have just started my job for a couple of weeks and i'm still learning to adapt myself in such a new environment. Thinking back about my first day, it was rather disappointed but i have made it though. Thanks for the encouragement from my dearest and managers.

On the fourth day, I got the news from my cousin that my aunty is going to pass away. I always know this time would come and I have ready for it in fact, she has been fighting for her cancer for few years already. I feel so sad to watch her fights till the last gasp of breath and the last tears that wet her eyes has stung my heart. She struggled and tried all her best to stay alive, maybe due to the fright of facing death she has gone through all kinds of chemotherapy. At the end, her body just couldn't take it, eventually she was too weak to fight any longer. RIP.

Back to my daily routine, my fellow coursemates have started their new sem. But it's actually a 3 months semester break we are having, and yes i have decided to work part time while the rest of my friends are taking some subjects in advanced. Hope everything goes well :)

I have been starting to meet more clients, so it's my 14th day now. Yes, i would confess that each time when i spend time to talk to some of my clients they leave me feeling like jealous, less interesting, less talented and under achiever. Nonetheless, i still appreciate all the people that i have talked to and it would be a time of change for myself to keep going.

So yeah, that's all about my current update. See ya, peeps!

Italinese dinner

Off day at Italinese! We ordered 3 starters, 2 main course and a strawberry cheesecake. At the end we had to take away the left over chicken, pasta and the cheesecake. LOL. I know we were a little greedy. The next day only i realized the cheesecake is way too large compared to the usual cheesecake out there. Nevertheless, it was still a very nice meal. The cheesecake is very nice even though I eat it after keeping in the fridge for another 2 days. i will go back for the cake for sure!

Exams ended.

Hey hey hey,

It's been a month!

I'm officially unbound from being slaves to my notes.

Neither happy nor sad though,

exhausted is the right word.

Most ridiculous was the last 3 papers!

In 48 hours,

broke my record,

6 cups of coffees,

40 hours sitting down with notes,

Sleep less than 6 hours.

Examination,

it finally slipped by.

After weeks of struggles and hard fights,

See you next year! :)

Too tired to think of any holidays plans. I need to sleep!!

Better together- jack johnson

(feat. Paula Fuga)

There is no combination of words I could put on the postcard
And no song that I could sing, but I can try because this is your heart and this is
Our dreams and they are made out of real things
Like a shoebox of photographs with sepia-toned loving
Love is the answer at least for most of the questions in my heart, like
Why are we here? And where do we go? And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing, it's so much better when we're together

Mmm, so much better when we're together
Yeh, we'll look at the stars when we're together
Well it's so much better when we're together
Yeh, it's so much better when we're together

All of these moments just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone when the morning light sings
Or brings new things for tomorrow night you see
They'll be gone too, to many things I have to do
But follow these dreams might find their way into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression, I was somewhere in between
With only two, just me and you, not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be, we'll sit beneath the mango tree now

Yeh, so much better when we're together
Mmm, we're somewhere in between together
Well, it's so much better when we're together
Yeh, so much better when we're together

I believe in memories because they look so,
So pretty when I sleep
And when I wake up you look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together
We so much better when we're together
We so much better when we're together

Final examinations started today.

I hate this feeling so much.

Prepared for unprepared moments.

I seriously doubt if im getting stupider as i grow up.

I been drinking coffee these days and lacking of sleep. Perhaps.

My brain is running slower nowadays.

I seriously need to get some exercise

and live a healthy lifestyle from now onwards.

Sigh.

I'm so low in mood now ):

My ego.

The shield is way too thick to break,

and it leads to all the arguments.

An escape.

Omgosh, i almost dead just now at a cross junction. I didn't realised the traffic light has turned red and a bunch of motorbikes just accelerated their bikes toward my side. It was merely a few seconds difference to crash and collide into them, luckily i surpassed the blare of honks without a scratch. I saw angry faces muttering curses at me from the side mirror. At that instant i could barely feel my heart beating. I admit that i was not focusing and was driving with an empty mind due to lack of sleeping i guess.

So there, just came back from another random dimsum session with the girls at Kuchai at 10am, it was my idea but at the end i was too tired to wake up. By the way, I drove all the way to Kuchai to realize that i don't know how to get there actually. Back to facing my book now, i'm thinking a way to settle myself with them. I really needed to ground myself in a room without my laptop and my phone or whatever devices that can get me connected with outside world. I should have pack my books and some food along and get back to setapak, the empty condominium. Maybe it's the best way to force myself to study. Getting away from all sorts of distractions.

So here i am doing my last update at facebook, hotmail and my blogspot. I tumbled across bing's blog, i find it rather funny when she said "如果人类都像bacteria那样一团团" (If human were born with the shape of bacteria-->dough-like). Well, I was exactly thinking the same thing; if everyone is identical to each other, then there would be no sexual attraction between people anymore. I guess i won't even bother to get myself dressed up for every single outings. I couldn't imagine my dough-like figure either, with the fact that im clubbier and flabbier compared to others. Wth!

Shall do the full stop here. have a nice day~

It's just a habit.

Sometimes, i would hang on there just to listen to your snore when i knew you had fell asleep while i was telling you about my wonderful stories. Because i worry if i hang up the call, you would awaken by the cut-off-tone. So i would just wait and wait till i make sure that you are sleeping deep enough to aware if i hung.

You call me every night at a fixed time, probably calling me has became your habit before you sleep. But one thing i couldn't tolerate is how you got distracted while you're calling me. I am enough of your denials because i just knew it whenever you didn't pay attention to me. I wasn't being sensitive at all, i'm aware of it indeed. It takes you so long before you respond to my question and to be frank i'm frustrated of waiting for your respond. Tears would roll down my cheeks while i'm waiting in the silence between the conversation but you seem perfectly fine with that. It's because you were too busy to even notice you had paused for awhile!

You knew it pretty much that i didn't like it, but you just do it repeatedly. You seem more interesting on clicking and checking your facebook, texting a friend or even playing a PSP while you're calling me! FML, anything but me. Tonight, I'd lost my strength and my heart stinging with pain. My tears burns in the back of my throat i wanted to tell you how much i felt. I don't think there is even a point anymore for you to call me.

Rollable-flats.

I am looking for a rollable-flats so badly! Where can i get this in Malaysia? This is a must-have-shoes for every women. Especially for a girl like me who rely so much on heels, because they simply make my legs look longer and slimmer. While it is true that they make my legs look slimmer, it also bring suffer to me in the name of good looking. My angry boyfriend complaints alot whenever i wore high heels for date because i just couldn't take it after a few hours of walking. Apparently, i have to bring an extra sandals and a paper bag with me. This is funny for him, and i felt the same way too. This is not a new thing anymore, i know i m so outdated to just found out that Footzyrolls has started its collection since 2009 at Miami, Florida. These flats are stylish, comfortable and most important it can be stuff in even my clutch! Unfortunately, i tried to purchase from their website but malaysia is not available!

Photos are taken from HERE.

Do you know about this? Please let me know if u do.

More info please google about FootzyRolls

See ya peeps~

Wanna go Taiwan.

Well, this had bugging me for awhile so, trying to decide whether to go for a backpacking trip or just purchase a round island trip instead?

I had spent a few hours searching for a good deal at Matta Fair last Friday. Unfortunately, i couldn't find a package which would include the air fares plus a maximum of 3 days of tours only because i was planning to extend the return flight so that we could travel on ourselves for the remaining days. Saddest news was, we'd missed the RM199 taipei all-in-fares!! It was sold out when we finally decided to call up the agent on the last day which was yesterday. :( sad sad sad So now the returns flight becomes RM800 per pax T.T This late decision costs RM500, good grief!

I'm planning a trip to visit Taiwan end of this year and i can't wait for it. In my heart, i am pretty sure that I wanted to explore on my own rather than following a bunch of people and everything is nicely planned ahead for us. I had experience a backpacking trip before and i love it so much!

The date is already confirmed, i'm travelling on 1st Jan 2011! Now i'm waiting for my passport to get done and all the reservations for accommodation over there. I have contacted a few of them and hopefully things will sail smoothly. And i have decided to get myself a new gadget - a wide angle lens for this trip. Just mere thinking about it, i'm so excited by now. Meanwhile, i will be working for 3 months during my coming semester break.

Shyt, I supposed to be studying for finals now. So, I need to temporarily leave this thing aside before it affects my study motivation!

Gao Mei Shi Di 高美溼地

Su Hua Road 苏花公路(Copied from Jenny's blog)

Will you ever miss me?

Recently, emotions overwhelmed me. I tend to caught in a deep thought so easily when i am stuck at home alone. Not exactly my home, i have been hiding out myself these days in my currently rented condominium. Partly due to i have been slave to my books for the finals which is just lying around the corner.

After came across with some blogs and some statuses people posting at facebook, i just realized i have really miss my high school friends so much. And now it hits me, I wonder if someone ever miss me out there? Frowning..

I'm suffering of remorse after keeping broken contacts with them. I should have said hello once in awhile to tell them that i miss them. Speaking of reality, if i ever did that i'm afraid of the respond that i will be getting. Saddest part is, they might be thinking if i was forwarding a text to a wrong person. Or in worse case, getting no replies. Maybe because i'm not even worth that 10cents of text.

Uni stuff had piled up like endless stories. Perhaps it is the only reason we ended up into individual life like now. Even though i had attended as much as possible meet ups i could, but i think it's just not enough. The bonding between us are not that real anymore. Because we never share a thing anymore beside than casual greetings. I wish we will share all the stories ever again, just like how we did last time.

Not trying to seek for any attentions but i crave for cares, indeed.

As they come and go.

Friends come and go in life. Just a couple of months ago, another of them leaved.

There were three of us, being observed as good friends to others. We always spent time together during classes, though we don't share much about our personal stories but we get along quite well, at least we never fight. Maybe it is because we did not share much and things started to evolve as the underlying strangeness creep in. It will never be worked out, i tried to save the whole matter but it was a bit too late. The calm water is now full of ripples, both of them realized they have so much in conflicts. Therefore, our friendships went crashed to the hard ground and die into nothing. I was very very pissed and disappointed at a point, to be ditched by someone. It grew loathing in me.

I believe every man will eventually go through a time to change for a greater good. I hope you would learn to be a better man in your newly found-oh-so-comfortable-zone with your mate. Man with mature thinking seems lesser nowadays, i wonder where are they exactly hiding at.

I am glad that another one stayed with me, we begun to share a little more than ever. After all, i think friendships should share their feelings with each other, in order to keep the momentum to goes on. As time passes on, i begin to think that life is too short to angry over someone. Moreover, to hate someone is weary.

Whenever you request for a help i will still lend my hand, because we were friends.

What used to be good.

Every time when I'm sad or angry, I can hardly utter a word because words are hiding inside the glands of my brain. I know what is it supposed to speak but I keep it quiet instead. It feels like I had split into a few me and start speaking among myself.

I feel sad when i realized we do not share a single mutual interest. I'm dread to think if things get worse till that day came. The day when we pass by each other without saying hello. The day when my heart had crushed into a million pieces. The flames of anger blinded yourself, every single word you deliver is hurtful. My tears were helpless and i hope you could kiss them dry.

I think to myself what used to be good, then I printed a last kiss on your chest to replace the word sorry.

If you think that life is bad..

How would you like to be an egg?

You only get to be laid once.

You only get eaten once.

It takes 4 minutes to get hard.

Only 2 minutes to get soft...

You share your box with 5 other guys.

But worse of all..

The only chick that ever sat on your
face is your Mother!

So cheer up! Your life isn't so bad.




This made my day~ nights!

Notice my smile when i slide my fingers into yours.

Despite of all the fights we had, we are still together. The wheel of time had forward so fast before i could notice, and now it brought us to the 15th month. All the moments when we kissed and hugged each other, so real like the air i breath in every day, the feelings are just beyond descriptive words.

That night as i stared upon your sleeping face, i shed. Of all the love you richly poured on me, how much have i returned? Things that i hunger from you are getting stronger as i commit myself to this affair. I laughed myself for trying to change you into someone that i desired. It took me long before i realized to change own self is hard, let alone others. I felt guilty over my selfishness and the pain i gave you.

Life is now giving a hard lesson to me, a lesson for understanding myself. It is rather hard to distinguish myself because in the midst of my pondering mind, i had lost my direction. There are several characters inside that constantly transforming from one into another. It comes to my fear that no longer do i know what I want, I'd stuck in the definition of perfection and imperfection. My dreams, should they be given up and be introduced to reality? Or i shall shake off all my doubts in head and just go with the flow as time marches on, to tell myself it's perfect. But, the urge of wanting more and stepping to wondrous land are kept pushing my mind goes astray. I am afraid, afraid that time would ruin everything that had built.

Like any other girls, I like sweet sucking words, cute little texts in the morning, heart throbbing and heart trashing surprises anytime. I crave because i want it from you. No one else, but you.

An old song i haven't heard in awhile.

People once told me, time heals wound, but guess my wound took unusual long enough to heal. Listening to an old song, i indulged myself with the voyage of seeking for something..

I tried not to wander back. I let my life run faster so that time could wash away the darkest, unwanted part of my memories. But sometimes, things that i encountered remind me of everything. Once, i had convinced myself to let go but unconscious moment hits me and emotions begin to strike as i watched my past flows by. I am so confused why this part of my unwanted memory kept appearing. I could not comprehend why do i still feel sad, the invisible sadness that lie so deep inside my soul as if it has almost vanished away, yet the shadows can be seen at times.

It must be the scar that were once the pains, it does not fade with time but like echoes chasing me so close, whispering into my ears, trying to remind me of something, something that i tried to run away so far from it awhile ago.

In times of heartache, it came to my realization that i wanted to immortalize things in my thoughts. Perfectly sealed it and locked it at the darkest, deepest corner of my heart. I wanted to meet someone in future, whom is so closely that could replaces that empty space. But, is that possible? Do i really have the fate?

Unknowingly, my thoughts run too wildly till another morning came by. The sun beam pierces through the curtain, i'm dread to think any further because i knew very well that jealousy is killing me little by little.